Stress, stress, stress & stress..Im freaking mad damn crazily stress over my school. Seriously, no joke. I feel so useless & dumb there. First of all, I dont click well with people or mayb I take a longer time to click with people? Secondly, school work is freaking damn heavy with all those damn projects & assignments. Thirdly, the pace in poly is wayy to fast for me to cope & catch up. Every one week you are learning one new chapter from every module. I have got five module this sem, which means, one week I will be bombed with 5 new chapters & next week a 5 new chapters is here again. How am I gonna handle this? Whats more? You are expected to learn it within the 2 hrs of lecture & 2 hrs of tutorial. Otherwise, god bless you.See? You get what I mean? Moreover, Im competing with those damn damn damn smart & hardworking people who just graduate from their Os with like 8, 9, 10 L1R4? Highest is like 12 also?! Thinking back, what's my L1R4? 28 can! Okay, embarrass. They think faster than me, work faster than me & even talk faster than me! There's no way I can compete with them. I swear I almost burst out into tears today when Im in tutorial lesson. I feel so insignificant so useless as compared to them. I look down on myself, really.Dropping out of the course have been hitting my mind since the second week of school? Because I feel that I really couldnt cope well & adapt to the pace here. But its the people around me keeps me going.. They got high hopes on me, pretty high one.. & I really dont wish to disappoint them. When the high hopes are on your shoulder, you goes double the stress. I manage to kick off the damn mindset like two days ago? But its here again when the reality reminds me that I sucks & you dont belong here.I really dont know how. Not sure how long I can take this also. But yeah, gonna walk one step & count one step lo.. Okay, dont wanna mention any further because I will go crazy thinking about those stupid stuffs again. So better not.. (:Btw, I guess I wont have much time to keep this blog as lively as before already. Like, WHERE GOT TIME! But I promise I will still blog whenever I can! (;
For no special occasions, I still received pretty pretty roses!!
You are part of the reason that keep me going.. Thank you.
May 2009
