Alright, Im here to blog again. Think twice, I shall not abandon my this blog here. Because I do still have loyal readers around. Wouldnt want to keep them worry or whatsoever. So I shall keep it private with inviting ppl here until those lows are over. Sometimes I really do hate myself for having a blog for having to think twice before anything comes out from here but theres also times Im so console to have a blog for me to reminisce my life. Life is always like this, such a dliemma situation which tortures my life off.Again, this few days Im still thinking non-stop. Whenever Im empty, Im thinking. Why am I in this situation? Seriously I dont know also, I guess ...... But ppl around me are strong, so am I. Ppl around dote me pampers me, treating me like im their small girl. Therfore I tend to rely on them afterall all this never stays forever. Its forever changing. I need to adapt fast to the reality to the cruel reality, yes I need.I shall learn to be independent. I shall work hard on my own to get my car license. I shall find one day to get my weiwei to be hospitalise myself. Shall go everywher with public transport on my own as much as possible. Shall take good care of myself. Shall sayang myself comfort myself whenever I need it. Shall get lunch myself even how lazy I am. Shall learn to eat outside alone. Shall get my ass up early in the morning, not to be late for school. Afterall, Im always with me. No one will be with you forever, no one will be by your side every min every sec. So I got to learn all this, understand this fact.But I want to emphasis is not that I do not have good mates around. I do have. Is because they are too good to me. One fine day they will be gone, everything will be different. They have their path, their life I shouldnt hinder them. Somehow I call this sweet torture? I love thoes 101% pamper dote ppl give. But this is not right. Is somehow sweet but is actually is a long term torture, at least to me. I know im useless, I will get this word off me. Im alright, I will be okay alone.As for now, you are back to yourself. No longer the ------- le. Shouldnt ever call you that le because that is gone. As long as you are happy, as long as ppl around me is happy. I really do hope everything goes well for you. Nothing to make you upset abt le. Sorry for causing all this trouble & causing you to be some bad guy. My deepest apology. Thanks for those laughter, those pamper. Thanks for the teaching, the knowing. You might not see this, but this is at least to make me feel more comfortable. All the best, one day you will reap what you sow. & Your loves around you would want to see your real laughter again, take good caree.Clean those tears & start a new.
Day1.
May 2009
